FUNNY STORIES

A

Once upon a time， there lived a rich man. He had a servant（仆人）.Both of them loved wine and good food very much. Each time the rich man left his home， the servant would drink the wine and eat up all the nice food in the house. The rich man knew what his servant did， but he had never caught the servant who was just doing that.

One morning before he left home， he said to the servant， “Here are two bottles of poison（毒藥）and some nice food in the house. You must take good care of them.”With these words， he went out.

But the servant knew what the rich man had said was untrue， so he enjoyed a nice meal and drank too much. He was drunk and fell to the ground. When the rich man came back， he couldn？蒺t find his food or wine. He became very angry. He woke the servant up. But the servant told his story very well. He said a cat had eaten up everything. He was afraid of being punished， so he drank the poison to kill himself.

B

Mr Smith likes singing and works in a middle school. There he teaches the students of Grade Two music. He is friendly to the students and they like him， too.

Yesterday was his twenty？鄄second birthday. He didn？蒺t tell anybody about it. He thought all his friends were busy and he didn？蒺t want his students to give him any presents. After school he came to a restaurant to have some delicious food for his birthday. He told a waiter to bring a birthday cake， a chicken and a bottle of orange juice to him. He waited for a long time， but the waiter didn？蒺t bring him the food or drink. He had to stop the man and told him about it.

“Oh， I？蒺m sorry， sir，”said the waiter，“I forgot it a moment ago. Please wait for a few minutes and I？蒺ll soon bring them to you.”

At last his food and drink were brought. Mr Smith found one of the chicken？蒺s legs was shorter than the other. He stopped the waiter again and asked him why.

The waiter had a look at the chicken and said，“It does not matter if you don？蒺t want to dance with it！”

C

Mr Wilson worked in an office of a company. He was always careless and wrote carelessly. Sometimes he made mistakes and it brought him a lot of trouble. His wife told him to be careful， but he didn？蒺t listen to her.

Once the young man was sent to London on business. He would buy something for the company. Before he left， the manager told him to take good care of the money. He remembered at first， but after he finished the work， he went to drink something. He drank too much that evening and didn？蒺t know how he returned to his hotel. The next morning he found his money was gone. He only found little money to buy a stamp in all his pockets. He wrote to his wife and asked her to post some money to him as soon as possible.

Several days later， Mr Wilson？蒺s wife received the letter. She looked at it for a long time， but she couldn？蒺t know what her husband wrote. She had to send him a telegram. On it she said，“Come back to read me your letter.”