美式教養觀

The job of raising children is a tough one. Children don’t come with an instruction manual. And each child is different. So parents sometimes pull their hair out in frustration， not knowing what to do. But in raising children—as in all of life—what we do is influenced by our culture. Naturally then， American parents teach their children basic American values.

To Americans， the goal of parents is to help children stand on their own two feet. From infancy， each child may get his or her own room. As children grow， they gain more freedom to make their own choices. Teenagers choose their own forms of entertainment， as well as the friends to share them with. When they reach young adulthood， they choose their own careers and marriage partners.

The relationship between parents and children in America is very informal. American parents try to treat their children as individuals—not as extensions of themselves. They allow them to fulfill their own dreams. Americans praise and encourage their children to give them the confidence to succeed. When children become adults， their relationship with their parents becomes more like a friendship among equals. But contrary to popular belief， most adult Americans don’t make their parents pay for room and board when they come to visit. Even as adults， they respect and honor their parents.

Most young couples with children struggle with the issue of childcare. Mothers have traditionally stayed home with their children. In recent years， though， a growing trend is to put preschoolers in a day care center so Mom can work. Many Americans have strong feelings about which type of arrangement is best. Some argue that attending a day care center can be a positive experience for children. Others insist that mothers are the best caregivers for children. A number of women are now leaving the work force to become full-time homemakers.

Disciplining children is another area that American parents have differing opinions about. Many parents feel that an old-fashioned spanking helps youngsters learn what “No！” means. Others prefer alternate forms of discipline. For example， “time outs” have become popular in recent years. Children in “time out” have to sit in a corner or by a wall. They can get up only when they are ready to act nicely. Older children and teenagers who break the rules may be grounded， or not allowed to go out with friends. Some of their privileges at home—like TV or telephone use—may also be taken away for a while. Although discipline isn’t fun for parents or children， it’s a necessary part of training.

Being a parent is a tall order. It takes patience， love， wisdom， courage and a good sense of humor to raise children. Some people are just deciding not to have children at all， since they’re not sure it’s worth it. But raising children means training the next generation and preserving our culture. What could be worth more than that？

養育孩子是件傷腦筋的差事，孩子們并不是生下來就附有說明書的，而每個孩子又都不盡相同，所以有時候父母們真是挫折地扯光了頭發，還不知該怎么辦。然而以教養孩子而言，就像生活中所有的事一樣，我們的行為都受文化的影響，因此，美國父母很自然地會教導他們的孩子基本的美國價值觀。

對美國人而言，教養的目標在于幫助孩子們自力更生。從嬰幼兒期開始，每一個孩子都可能擁有自己的房間；隨著孩子的成長，他們有更多機會自己作決定；青少年們選擇自己喜歡的娛樂方式以及跟什么樣的朋友一起玩；當他們進入了青年期之后，他們選擇自己的事業和結婚伴侶。

在美國，親子之間的關系不是那么地嚴肅，美國父母們試著將孩子視為個體，而不是他們自我的延伸，他們允許孩子去實現自己的夢想。美國人會贊美并鼓勵孩子以給予他們成功的信心。當孩子長大成人之后，親子之間的關系會更像地位平等的朋友，可是與大家一向所以為的恰好相反，當父母來訪時，大部分的美國成年人并不會要求父母付食宿費，因為就算已經成年，他們還是很敬重父母的。

大部分有孩子的年輕夫妻們都為了養育孩子的問題而大傷腦筋。傳統上，母親們會和孩子待在家里，但是近幾年來，把孩子放在幼兒園好讓媽媽去工作的趨勢漸長。對于哪一種安排才是最好的，許多美國人都有自己強烈的主張，有些人認為進幼兒園對孩子而言是很極積影響的經歷，另一群人則堅持母親是照顧孩子的最佳人選，許多婦女現在也離開工作市場成為全職的家庭主婦。……