初中英語(yǔ)優(yōu)秀作文賞析

沈沁怡

【作文要求】

請(qǐng)以“家務(wù)”為主線寫一篇英語(yǔ)作文。

提示：你經(jīng)常在家里做哪些家務(wù)，有什么樣的體會(huì)。假期就快到了，你打算在寒假為家里做哪些事情呢？字?jǐn)?shù)在80—100字。語(yǔ)句要通順，意思連貫?！炯炎餍蕾p】學(xué)生范文（一）

Every family has lots of housework， so we all should learn to do some. I often try my best to help my parents with housework. For example， I wash bowls after meals every day.Besides，Ioften clean my room as well as my parents. I feel very proud of myself for doing these. Because I can not only give my parents more time to rest but also learn some life skills by doing this. I think it is good for both my parents and me. My parents are very satisfied with what I have done， which encourages me to go on doing somehouseworkasusual.Whats more， I decide to try some now housework during the winter vacation， such as cooking， washing clothes and so on.

教師點(diǎn)評(píng)：

文章觀點(diǎn)正確，完全符合題目要求。So， for example， besides， because， whats more等詞的有效運(yùn)用使文章語(yǔ)意連貫，過(guò)渡自然。語(yǔ)言簡(jiǎn)潔明了，思路清晰。此外，文章還準(zhǔn)確地運(yùn)用復(fù)合句“My parents are very satisfied with what I have done， which encourages me to go on doing some housework”，為文章增色不少。

學(xué)生范文（二）

There is a lot of housework in every family. And it always takes us lots of time to do housework， so each one in the family should offer to help deal with it.

As all the housework in my family is usually done by my mum， I often help her do someeasyhouseworklike washingthedishesaftermeals， watering flowers and so on. Though it seems simple， it is not easy to do them well. This makes me know how tired my mum is everyday to make the house tidy and clean. So I plan to learn to cook meals for my family in order to give my mum more time to relax.教師點(diǎn)評(píng)：

文章觀點(diǎn)正確，要點(diǎn)齊全，so， as， though， this等詞很好地將上下文緊密地連接在一起使文章結(jié)構(gòu)緊湊，邏輯性強(qiáng)。準(zhǔn)確運(yùn)用了從句、被動(dòng)語(yǔ)態(tài)等多種句式結(jié)構(gòu)，如文中的”As all the housework in my family is usually done by my mum”“This makes me know how tired my mum iseverydaytomakethe house tidy and clean.”等，使文章語(yǔ)言豐富，表達(dá)方式多樣。