《這就是我》——勇敢做自己

孩子們的世界未必就像我們想象中的那么純真，也有恃強凌弱，也有傷害無辜，也有尊嚴被踐踏。而那些天生就很特別的孩子能否在不輕松的校園環(huán)境中依然保持自己的獨特個性，勇敢做自己呢？在根據(jù)真人真事改編的成長題材影片《這就是我》(That's What I Am)中，一位特別的老師與他那些特別的學生們的故事或許能回答這個問題。

認識自己，定義自己的人生

上世紀五六十年代的美國表面歌舞升平，其實卻暗流洶涌，對外發(fā)動冷戰(zhàn)、越戰(zhàn)，對內對非洲裔族群、同性戀人士、左翼政治家等特殊群體的歧視和迫害可謂登峰造極。馬丁·路德·金(Martin Luther King)等人權斗士應運登上這個時期的歷史舞臺，寫下了濃墨重彩的一筆。

不過，正上中學的男孩Andy Nichol對這樣風云變幻的社會形勢卻并不關心，他關心的是文學課老師Stephen Simon將他和綽號Big G的書呆子Stanley分到了一組，讓他倆共同完成期末作業(yè)。這意味著在本學期接下來的時間里，他要和這個身形高大卻屢屢被同學們嘲笑欺負的家伙長期共處。Andy不明白自己最敬佩的Simon老師為什么會做出這樣的安排，但Simon老師卻自有他的理由。

Mr. Simon: Mr. Nichol， I want you to know I paired you with Stanley for a reason. You're very fortunate， so please don't disappoint me. [Andy面露難色] Andy? Your thoughts?

Andy: Well， Mr. Simon， I just don't think I'm the right partner for Big ... I mean， Stanley.

Mr. Simon: And why is that?

Andy: Uh ... well， he's a lot smarter than I am. And I'm not a very good writer. I could screw him up (使……緊張).

Mr. Simon: Well， I beg to differ from you (恐怕我想的和你不一樣)， Andy. I find your writing fascinating. You're a keen observer with colorful perspective. In fact， underneath the poor grammar and the atrocious (糟透的) spelling， I believe there lies the heart and soul of a great writer.

Andy: Really?

Mr. Simon: Really. Do you enjoy writing?

Andy: Sort of. Sometimes. The making-up-the-story part at least.

Mr. Simon: Well， if you enjoy something and you're good at it， then first you must define yourself as what you wanna be.

Andy: I don't ...

Mr. Simon: Repeat after me. I am a writer; that's what I am.

Andy: I am a writer; that's what I am?

Mr. Simon: Let's try that again. Stand up straight. Shoulders back. Deep breath. I am a writer， that's what I am.

Andy: [自豪地] I am a writer; that's what I am!

Mr. Simon: Excellent. Now go， Andy. And write.

Andy: Yeah. Yes， Sir.

Simon老師果然不愧為學校里的傳奇人物，只是簡短的幾句話，就令Andy暫時忘掉了自己和Stanley同組的顧慮，而且還讓他找到了自己人生的初步定義：a good writer。Simon老師拿手的還不止這個，據(jù)說他曾經(jīng)參加過一個以“和平”為主題的短文大賽，只用一句話就贏得了一輛跑車。

心懷憐憫，學會尊重和包容

可惜的是，Simon老師的勸慰和鼓勵并沒有徹底打消Andy的顧慮，回到家的Andy依然悶悶不樂。媽媽Sherri一眼就看出了Andy的異樣，Andy只好如實交代了有關Geek Corner (編注：“怪胎角落”，指像Stanley一樣的“怪人”午餐時經(jīng)常聚在一起的地方)和Big G的事情以及自己的擔心。

Sherri: Geek Corner?

Andy: Yeah， that's ... that's what they call it.

Sherri: \"They\" again? Andy? Isn't that what you just called it?

Andy: Yeah， but I didn't mean ... I didn't ...

Sherri: Did it occur to you that Stanley studies there because that's the only place he feels comfortable? How would you feel if everywhere you went people made fun of you and play tricks on you?

Andy: Ricky Brown makes fun of him every day. He was squirting (把……噴濕) him with a water pistol so it made him look like he wet his pants.

Sherri: Ricky Brown is a very cruel boy. Stanley has suffered his whole life.

Andy: Why would God do that， Mum? Make someone look like Big G， so that everyone makes fun of him?

Sherri: Maybe because God didn't see anything wrong with him in the first place. And Andy， his name is Stanley.

Sherri委婉地提醒Andy，不要對Stanley有先入為主的偏見，更不應該為了明哲保身甚至附和大家一起取笑Stanley。遺憾的是，Sherri的話Andy并沒有聽進去多少。他相信一旦和Stanley成為朋友，自己很可能會招來校園惡霸Ricky Brown的仇視，惹禍上身。所以Andy暗暗下定決心，除了和Big G共同完成作業(yè)之外，不再有其他任何接觸。沒想到一次“意外”事件令Andy和Big G第一次有了作業(yè)之外的交流。

外貌平平的女孩Karen Connor總是受到男生們的“青睞”，一次次受到他們的欺負和傷害，甚至有傳言說只要碰她一下就會長虱子。這一天，Karen不小心撞到了愛欺負人的Jason Freel，遭到他的毆打。Big G挺身而出，憑借自己的身高優(yōu)勢不費吹灰之力就將Jason拎到了半空中。大家都以為平時飽受欺負的Big G會趁著這個機會好好報仇，然而善良的Stanley只是沖Jason大吼了一聲“No”，就把Jason放走了。Andy對此百思不得其解。

Andy: I don't get it. Why do you let guys like Freel and Ricky always make fun of you all the time?

Stanley: I can't make them be nice people. And even if I did， there'd be others that take their place.

Big G的這番話令Andy不禁深感慚愧。Stanley就算被大家冠以Big G的綽號，就算不被大多數(shù)同伴理解，就算總是受到同學們的欺負，但卻活得很有尊嚴，而且對他人懷有一顆寬容憐憫的心。Simon老師贏得以“和平”為主題的短文大賽的那句話是“Human Dignity + Compassion = Peace”。一如他的這句話，如果每個人都能像Stanley一樣，活得有自尊并尊重他人，學會寬容和憐憫，這個校園應該不會有這么多欺凌，大家應該會相處得更加友好和平。

堅定信念，不受流言影響

Andy盡管在Simon老師和Stanley的幫助下理解了和平的定義，但校園中的種種麻煩卻令他絲毫感受不到和平的半點蹤影。在學校一向受人尊敬和喜愛的Simon老師居然被指控是“homosexual (同性戀)”！在故事發(fā)生的年代，這個詞還十分敏感，被指控的人理所當然會被歧視、被隔離甚至被傷害。謠言很快傳遍了整個校園，同學們開始議論紛紛。而這一切的始作俑者原來是曾經(jīng)被Stanley“教訓”過的Jason，理由僅僅是因為Jason想利用這些謠言來報復Simon老師，逼他離開學校。

流言蜚語如Jason所愿愈演愈烈，Simon老師面臨的指責和非議與日俱增。不明就里的Jason父親找到校長Evelyn，要求她在48小時內徹查此事，并揚言要將此事通報全校家長和各路媒體。束手無策的Evelyn校長只好找Simon老師商議對策。

Evelyn: This would be so much easier if you would just deny it and we could move forward. Are you denying that you are a homosexual?

Mr. Simon: I'm not going to justify that question with an answer. I'm 57 years old， Ev. I have been a teacher most of my life. I will not compromise who or what I am for the likes of Jason Freel， or his parents. I'm sorry.

Evelyn只得再次出面與Jason的父親交涉，但Jason的父親簡單粗暴，他對Simon老師的師德和教學水平視若無睹，更是無視自己兒子傷害Karen的行徑，Evelyn無功而返。Simon老師看著左右為難的校長，又想到自己不能放棄的原則，決定在學期結束時離開。

勇敢追夢，不懼他人眼光

一波未平一波又起。這邊關于Simon老師的流言剛剛有所平息，Andy要追求校園惡霸Ricky前女友Mary的消息又傳遍了全校。心情大為不爽的Ricky想將Andy痛扁一頓。關鍵時刻又是Stanley路見不平，趕走了Ricky。經(jīng)過這番波折，Andy對Stanley的印象徹底改觀。他找到在后臺準備校園“達人秀”歌唱節(jié)目的Stanley，第一次脫口叫出了這位朋友的本名，而沒有像平時那樣喊他的外號。

Andy: Stanley?

Stanley: Hello.

Andy: You know that time Ricky Brown was squirting you in the crotch (褲襠) with a water pistol?

Stanley: Yeah.

Andy: I should have done something. I should have tried to help you ... and I'm sorry.

Stanley: That's okay.

Andy: Are you scared?

Stanley: Yes.

Andy: I think you may be the bravest guy I know.

Stanley: Or the craziest.

Andy意識到，Stanley一次又一次對他挺身相救，但他卻似乎從來沒為Stanley做過什么，而且曾經(jīng)還非常害怕和他扯上任何關系，所以寧愿見他被欺負也無動于衷。Andy覺得該是自己為Stanley做點什么的時候了。

Andy知道Stanley其實非常在意他倆共同的朋友Norman會不會來看演出，因為Norman之前說過對Stanley擅自報名、可能會在全校人面前出丑感到非常氣憤。但就連Andy都能看得出來，雖然Norman口口聲聲說不想和Stanley一起丟臉，但其實只是出于對朋友的保護，他不想看到Stanley被別人嘲笑和傷害。Andy知道自己該做什么了，他騎著單車一路狂奔到Norman家。

Norman: I don't know why he does it. He just won't give in， no matter what they do to him.

Andy: He'll be on soon!

Norman: I just don't wanna see their faces. I don't wanna hear them laugh.

Andy: Look， if he's brave enough to do it， I think you should be brave enough to be there for him. I mean， maybe ... maybe we're the posse (“武裝部隊”，此處Andy意指他們可以保護Stanley).

Norman: You don't know what it's like.

Andy: No， but I do know you and Stanley are best friends. Besides， maybe he can really sing.

Norman: Yeah， sure. And maybe they'll vote me king of the prom (舞會).

Andy: You know， you were right about him. He's not like anyone else.

Norman: My mom says Stanley has something most people will never have. Stanley has dignity.

Andy的行動奏效了，Norman趕在Stanley演出前找到了他。Norman問出了自己心中一直以來的一個疑問：Stanley為什么一定要堅持表演這個節(jié)目，他難道不怕被別人嘲笑嗎？Stanley平靜地告訴他：“I'm a singer. That's what I am.”他只是想做一個歌唱者，僅此而已。

Stanley為大家?guī)砹艘皇姿约簞?chuàng)作的歌曲“Go Ahead and Dream”。他的嗓音并非天籟，但他用心唱出了自己的心聲，把他對夢想的全部感情都傾注在了歌聲里。在簡陋的校園舞臺上，Stanley的臉上浮現(xiàn)出前所未有的自豪和快樂。歌聲剛停，臺下便掌聲雷動。Stanley終于勇敢地踏出了夢想的第一步，Andy和Norman也為他們的這位朋友感到高興。

永不放棄，迎接機遇和挑戰(zhàn)

學期轉眼就要結束了。Simon老師上完了最后一課，即將離開這個學校。在Andy的悉心策劃下，同學們把鮮花堆滿了Simon老師的汽車，向他們心目中最喜愛的老師表達感激和不舍之情。Simon老師告訴Andy，他將在一所新學校繼續(xù)教學生涯，因為他說過“I'm a teacher， that's what I am”。

暑假，Andy不請自來，前往Simon老師家拜訪。在一進門的顯要位置，Andy看到了Simon老師與過世妻子的合影，才知道原來Simon老師對妻子愛得太深，因此才多年未娶，更加明白Simon老師背負的“homosexual”指責簡直是無稽之談。但此時的Andy并沒有自己預想的那樣憤怒，反而平和了許多，因為和Simon老師、Stanley、Norman這些良師益友相處得越久，他發(fā)現(xiàn)自己看待這個世界的方式就越不同。他明白，睿智的Simon老師之所以選擇不為自己辯解一定有自己的道理。只是Andy還有一個未解的心結，這一次，Simon老師依然慷慨地給出了回答。

Andy: I just wanted to know: when you assigned me to work with Stanley， why'd you pick me? You said there was a reason.

Mr. Simon: Well ... I believe that life is about timing， opportunity and choices. It was an opportunity at the right time for a wonderful young man like you to make the right choice. And I knew you weren't ready to do that. But I didn't want you to miss it.

Andy: But how did you know it would work? How did you know that ... that I could do it?

Mr. Simon: I didn't. But sometimes， you just need someone to tell you that you can.

是啊，正如Simon老師所說，生活中充滿了機遇，你所需要做的，就是把握正確的時機，做出正確的選擇，不要因為害怕而錯過任何一個良機。時刻告訴自己“that's what I am”，永遠不要放棄做自己。