十大不寫作業的爆笑理由你小時候用過哪條？

#1 最直接的理由

What homework？

什么作業？（裝傻時請自覺配合表情……）

#2 最得瑟的理由

Aliens took it as a sample of human handwriting.

作業被外星人拿去當人類字跡樣本了。（茫茫作業中，選中的就是你的……）

#3 最惡心的理由

My dog ate it. Seriously，

look， I brought a stool sam—ple.

作業被狗吃了。真的，你看，我帶來了糞便樣本。（人類已經無法阻止狗狗吃作業了……）

#4 最高境界的理由

I was too worried about genocide in obscure African nations to focus on home—work.

我太擔心暗藏殺機的非洲國家將面臨種族滅絕大屠殺，而無法集中注意力做作業了。

#5 最殘忍的理由

My father had a nervous breakdown and cut it up to make paper dolls.

我老爸有點神經失常，把作業剪裁開來折紙玩偶了。（老爸悲催了……）

#6 最無厘頭的理由

The nice man with the sign says the end is HERE. No one does homework on the eve of the apocalypse.

一個和善的先生拿著一個牌子寫著：今天大家都完蛋。沒人在世界末日前夕還做家庭作業的。

#7 最經典的理由

I ran out of toilet paper and had to improvise.

廁所沒紙了，只能拿作業紙湊合著用了。（親，這個有點過時了……）

#8 最有愛的理由

My mother took it to have it framed.

我媽媽把作業裝裱了。（總不能棒打母愛吧……）

#9 最“權威”的理由

The District Court of Appeals recently ruled that homework is officially cruel and unusual punishment.

地方上訴法院最近裁定家庭作業是官方的不人道和非常規的懲罰措施。（于是老師頗感“鴨梨”……）

#10 最高科技的理由

I have a solar powered calculator and it was cloudy.

我用的是太陽能計算器，而當時是陰天。（后面的意思，你懂的……）