快樂無涯苦作舟

Every morning I excitedly get out of bed. Just a few minutes of goals and visions for the day swirl in my head. No lingering for me， no alarm， no wishful notes， too. Just me in my night gown with no hat.

I sit down to enter my dreams and what can be noted， in my journal entries that began long ago with a tiny book and its lock and key. I used to dwell on all the icky things back then， but now I write life with my cheers and glees instead.

I remember the days I didn’t know whether I was going to live or die. I also never thought I’d see why cancer came by. I’m glad I had cancer because today I like the who I’ve become， which would have never occurred had it not appeared.

If I dwell， I can remember the day of the accident that left me in a wheel chair for years. I don’t， because I know if I do， today there will be a lot of have-nots and a heart of tears， too. As a coach I’ve been trained to be in the present moment. Thank goodness for apple trees. For if it had not been for growing things， fresh air would not have existed， and I would not be able to enjoy breathing it all in. Next I write wisdom， only wisdom that I can share. I know that someone will be here and be inspired because I cared. I travel through my day with a soul of glee， knowing， really knowing， this is the right place for me to be. The excitement occurs when I pick up my pen and get the surprise of how far it has all come. I know there were days long ago when Idreaded my day. I’m glad there are none of them anymore. For when their inklings first appear， I now have the training and support to make them disappear. Coaching made me work so that I can appear.

When I crawl under the covers at night， I smile with prayer at the difference I made in everyone’s life this day. Just because I was there. Before I drift off to sleep， my sugarplums swirl with what next I can do with my pen. I nod off to sleep， gracefully and slowly， lingering on the stories yet to be told. Occasionally there is a 2 am up. Just because what was swirling before needs to be said. So I honor the time with my pen， and then it’s back to la-la land I go. I’m so glad of my passion， my life. It allows everything to be said. After my last eye lid shutter， my last thought is of tomorrow’sputter.

每天清晨，我滿懷興奮地起床。在短短的幾分鐘內，腦海中閃過一整天的目標和設想。沒有縈繞拖延，沒有擔心憂慮，也沒有一廂情愿，只有穿著無帽長睡衣的自己。

我坐下來，將自己的夢想以及能夠記錄下來的想法全都寫進日志。我從很久以前就開始寫日志，一開始它只是一個帶有小鎖和鑰匙的小本子。過去我總是不厭其煩地細述煩膩的往事，如今我則歡欣鼓舞地記下生命的恩賜。

我還記得那些不知道自己生死命運的日子。我也從沒想過自己能明白癌癥為何不期而至。我很高興自己得了癌癥，因為我很喜歡現在的自己。如果不是癌癥的到來，就絕不可能成就現在的我。

如果稍加回想，我就會想起出事的那天，那場意外讓我多年依靠輪椅行動。我不去回想，因為我知道一旦這樣做，我今天就會有許多未盡的心愿以及無盡的眼淚。

作為一名導師，我接受過訓練，懂得活在當下。真要感謝那些蘋果樹。因為如果沒有這些不斷成長的事物，就不會有新鮮的空氣，而我也就不能暢快地呼吸。

接下來我寫下智慧，智慧是我唯一能與人分享的東西。我知道有些人會來到這里，因為我的關懷而受到鼓舞。我一整天都在快樂的四處旅行——我知道，真切地明白，這就是我的歸屬。我拿起手中的筆，驚訝于自己能走得這么遠，興奮的感覺翩然而至。

我知道在很久以前，我曾經對自己的人生深感恐懼，如今這些恐懼消失殆盡，我真為此感到高興。因為每當那些跡象初露矛頭，我得以通過訓練及他人的支持將其一一克服。導師生涯讓我不斷工作，得以顯現真正的我。

夜幕降臨，我在被褥下翻來覆去，微笑著祈禱，因為這一天我讓他人的生活有所改變。只因為我在那里。漸入夢鄉之時，我為自己接下來能用手中的筆做些什么而感到絲絲甜蜜。我打著盹，優雅而緩慢地進入夢鄉，將要講述的故事縈繞不散。

偶爾我會在凌晨兩點起床，只因為將要成型的故事在我腦海盤旋。所以我尊重這些揮筆抒懷的時光，然后再次回到夢中的虛幻之境。我人生中的病痛讓我歡欣，讓我暢所欲言。最后眨一眨眼，我閉上雙眼，想象著明天的閑庭信步。