編者注:為了提高同學(xué)們的英語寫作水平,使大家在中考中立于不敗之地,應(yīng)廣大師生的要求,我們開辟了“學(xué)生習(xí)作名師點(diǎn)評”欄目。同學(xué)們?nèi)绻胱屪约旱挠⒄Z習(xí)作得到名師的點(diǎn)評,請郵寄給我們。老師們?nèi)绻l(fā)現(xiàn)自己學(xué)生的優(yōu)秀習(xí)作需推薦的話,請按欄目要求郵寄給我們。
【欄目要求】
1. 將學(xué)生習(xí)作根據(jù)中考分值給出成績;
2. 在應(yīng)該修改的地方劃線并標(biāo)注序號;
3. 根據(jù)所標(biāo)序號進(jìn)行修改并說明修改的理由;
4. 給學(xué)生習(xí)作點(diǎn)評<優(yōu)點(diǎn)與不足>;
5. 請點(diǎn)評名師提供簡歷一份,包括:學(xué)校、職務(wù)、 職稱、榮譽(yù)、教研教學(xué)成果、照片一張。
來稿請寄: 430079 華中師范大學(xué)外國語學(xué)院《中學(xué)生英語》 雜志社初中部 收
It’s important for us to be healthy in our life. We canot do anything well without a healthy body.
There are many ways to keep healthy. We should have a balanced diet. We should eat fruit and vegetevble four times or five times a week. Milk and yogurt are also necessary, especially for women. Don’t eat candy or smoke too much because they are bad for our health. We should keep doing exercise every day. We can run every morning. We can walk to school instead of taking bus. After school, we can spend an hour playing ball games. If we live in a high building, we can walk upstairs and downstairs. After dinner, we should go out for a walk. We should exercise every day to keep healthy.
湖南省邵陽市第三中學(xué) 朱丹
點(diǎn)評
1. 優(yōu)點(diǎn):
內(nèi)容充實(shí),層次分明,行文流暢。
2. 需要修改的地方:
① can的否定形式為cannot。
② 拼寫錯誤。veget-
evble應(yīng)改為vegetables。
③ taking bus中間應(yīng)該加冠詞a,即taking a bus。
3. 評分:
按照中考滿分10分的標(biāo)準(zhǔn),本文修改前可得8分。