望天上云卷云舒

I’ve never been an athlete. I’ve never been much interested in sports， ever since I stopped playing 1)touch-football with the boys， when I hit 2)puberty. I’ve tried tennis. I hit the ball too high， too long， and way over into 3)left field. I’ve tried softball. Thank goodness that ball is “soft” and big， because it felt just awful when it hit me in the eye. I tried running， but I couldn’t get anyone to chase me.

I tried swimming， but even though I float like a 4)cork， and have had numerous lessons， I can’t seem to get over the idea， that I’m really going to drown. Finally， I settled on walking， and for a number of years， I walked 3 to 5 miles a day. I realize that there is an Olympic sport referred to as “walking，” but when I tried that， all I succeeded in doing was 5)throwing my hip out.

I’m definitely NOT an athlete， but I make do， especially in my “mid-life” years， which brings a question to my mind. When did I hit mid-life? I remember when I hit thirty. I had to visit a grief counselor， because I knew my life was over. I remember forty. I had to see a grief counselor the day after my first child graduated from high-school and moved out of the house because I knew my life was over. I remember forty-four. For some reason I thought my life was over. Then I hit fifty and I was all excited because I was able to join an organization called 6)AARP. My husband was especially excited because he is younger than I， and he got to join， too!

Fifty became the magic age. I knew that as long as I was in good health， 7)in this day and age， I probably had a good fifty years ahead of me. Then came the 8)asthma. OK， I had that much earlier， but it only became life threatening after fifty. Then came the9)fibromyalgia. OK， I had THAT earlier， but it’s not life threatening. Then came the arthritis， and， more recently， at fifty-five， came the 10)diabetes. Somewhere， along the way， I became very interested in 11)pharmaceuticals， and， finally， one day， I became free.

I began by noticing the sunsets， and I had the time to stop and really wonder， at the beauty and the magnitude of it all. Then I moved onto the sunrises， and I quickly found out that if I wasted the early morning， I missed the loveliest part of the day. Then I began to notice how grateful I was to be able to witness the changing of the seasons. The first whisper of spring; the 12)rustling of the leaves beneath my feet， in the fall; that first breathless covering of a winter’s snow; and in the summer， all the flowers， and the buzzing of a 13)bumblebee.

When illness would hit me， I found that I actually enjoyed the solitude. A time to reflect， gather my thoughts， and pray， at leisure. I found that I was “experiencing” this mid-life season， and I was no longer missing every moment， 14)shackled to the chains of worry， and what “might” be. I found that worrying about tomorrow， only served to make me overlook the blessings of today.

It’s not always easy. A few loads of laundry， and a pile of dishes can take an entire day; but then I don’t push myself a lot. So， I forget to make the bed， as I watch the rosy glow of dawn meet the rising sun. I have time to walk our little， wooded acre with my little 15)dachshund 16)straining at the 17)leash. I get to read the “signs，” with my Happy Dog， sniff the air， and gaze out at nowhere， studying the sky， with the same intensity that my little dog studies the ground.

I get to meet the day， every day. I get to say “good-night，” to the sunsets. I’ve studied a lot of sunsets， in the last five years， and I’ve never seen two that were alike. And I’ve gotten to make my mind up， about the mysteries of life; and I have grown certain， that all this was no accident.

I feed the birds， and I take great delight in their multicolored 18)hues， especially in the spring. I drag a chair to stand on， so that I can fill the feeders to the brim， myself. I say a little prayer， as I 19)wobble， a little 20)cock-eyed on the chair， and I laugh， at myself， and all the pretensions of my younger life. I take great delight in my life. I thank God for all the precious little things of every day. Friends. Family. Neighbors. And health. A health of the soul. For I have come to understand what real health is， and when you have REAL health， then you truly have everything.

我從來不是什么運動員料子。到了青春期，我不再和男孩們玩觸身式橄欖球，之后，我一直對運動沒多大興趣。我試過打網球，球打得太高太遠，飛到了左外場。我試過打壘球，幸虧那球又“軟”又大，我眼睛給它打中，也就是感覺糟糕倒霉而已。我試過跑步，但總不會有人在后面追趕我。

我試過游泳，但盡管我可以像軟木塞一樣漂浮，還上過無數堂游泳課，我還是無法克服這么一種想法——我真的會被淹死。最后，我安下心來走路。好幾年來，我每天都走3－5英里路（約4.8－8公里）。我了解到奧林匹克運動會有個競技項目就是被人稱作“走路”的，但當我嘗試參加時，只落了個盆骨錯位的下場。

我絕對沒有運動員的體魄，但我將就著熬過來了，特別是“中年”那段日子，說起來，引出一個問題——我是什么時候步入中年的呢？我記得30歲時，我得去看哀傷心理治療師，因為那時我知道自己的人生完了；我記得40歲時，我第一個孩子高中畢業后搬出家住的那天，我又得去看哀傷心理治療師，因為那時我知道自己的人生完了；我記得44歲時，因為某個原因，我以為自己的人生完了；接著，我滿了50歲，因為能加入一個叫“美國退休人員協會”的組織而興奮不已。我丈夫也特別興奮，因為他比我年輕，也能加入這個組織！

50歲成了一個充滿魔力的年齡。那時我知道，當今，只要我保持健康的體魄，我就很可能還會健康地活多50年。接著我得了哮喘。好吧，其實我早些時候就有這病，只是在我50歲后它才變得危及生命?！?br>