Ｆｕｎｎｙ Ｄｉａｌｏｇｕｅｓ

A

Customer: What are these pennies (硬幣)in my soup?

Waiter: Well， sir， you said you’d stop eating here ifthere wasn’t some change in the food.

B

Hal：Grandma cured (治愈)Grandpa of biting his nails (咬指甲).

Sal：How did she do it?

Hal：She hid his 1 teeth(假牙).

C

A：Pardon me， sir， but do you know the way to the post office?

B：No， I’m afraid I don’t.

A：Well， it’s two blocks up this street and three blocks to the right.

D

Mr Jones: If Mr Simmons comes in to see me today， tell him I’m out.

Receptionist：Yes， sir.

Mr Jones：And don’t let him catch(發覺)you doing any work， or he won’t believe you.

E

Tom：Did you mark(做記號)the spot where you caught all those fish?

Sam：Yes， I put a bix X on the side of the boat.

Tom：But suppose(假定)we don’t get the same boat next time.

F

Customer：There’s a dead fly in my soup.

Waiter：What do you want us to do—have a funeral(葬禮)？

G

Doctor：You’re coughing more easily this morning.

Patient：I should. I’ve been practicing all night.

H

Mr Jones：Why can’t I park(停車)here?

Policeman：Read the sign(告示).

Mr Jones: I did. It says，“Fine for parking.”so I parked.

注：fine有兩個含義：①好的；②罰款。

I

Mrs Upton：(to new maid女仆)Will you make me up tomorrow morning?

New maid：Certainly， madam—just ring me.

J

LittleBobby: I’ve got a stomachache(胃痛).

Aune Tess：That’s because you haven’t eaten and your stomach is empty， so is hurts.

Little Bobby：Now I know why Uncle Harry has headache all the time. His head must be empty too.

K

Father(spanking 打……的屁股son)：The only reason l’m punishing you is because I love you.

Son：I’m sure glad if you hate me.

L

Nancy：Our new next-door neighbour must be very poor.

Karen: Why do you say that?

Nancy: You should have heard the big fuss they made when their baby swallowed(吞)a penny.

注：make fuss 大驚小怪

M

Ned: Pardon me for walking on your feet.

Ted: That’s okay.I often walk on them myself.

注：walk on one’s feet 踩……的腳

N

Jess：A snowball hit my hat and I didn’t feel it one bit.

Tess：How come?

Less：Because I lent my hat to Carl to wear.

O

Ron：Are Ted’s feet big?

Don：I don’t know. I’ve never seen him with his shoes off.

P

Aunt(to nephew)：My dear， you’ve put on some weight(增加體重)，haven’t you?

Nephew：I hope so. I only weighted 8 pounds when I was born.

Q

Teacher: Who was the first man to travel around the earth?

Boy: The man in the moon.