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閱讀下表，以Global Shortage of Fresh Water為題寫一篇短文。

詞數(shù)：100—120

學(xué)生習(xí)作：

Global Shortage of Fresh Water

Fresh water seems in① everywhere, in rivers, lakes, wells as well as rain, which make② some people think that we cant use up water.

In fact, global shortage of fresh water is getting more and more serious with the development of industry and the raising③ population. We are using much more water than what our earth can provide. Just imagining④ the pictures of the waste lands around the world and the poor children in African deserts who need water bad⑤. Whats worse, much water has already been polluted, making it unfit to drink.

Therefore, we should pay attention to this. To protect our valuable water resource⑥, we should value every drop of water. To save our lives, to save water!

名師點(diǎn)評(píng)：①everywhere為副詞，前面不可加介詞修飾，因此應(yīng)去掉in。②which代表主句內(nèi)容，應(yīng)視為單數(shù)，所以make應(yīng)改為makes。③此處表示“正在上升的”，而不表示“正在提高”，因此raising應(yīng)改為rising。④該句為祈使句，因此imagining應(yīng)改為imagine。⑤need為行為動(dòng)詞，應(yīng)用副詞修飾，所以bad應(yīng)改為badly。⑥r(nóng)esource為可數(shù)名詞，而地球的水源較多，因此resource應(yīng)改為resources。

點(diǎn)評(píng)：作者根據(jù)寫作要求從人們的觀點(diǎn)、實(shí)際情況和我們?cè)撛趺崔k三個(gè)角度表達(dá)文意，文章條理清晰，脈絡(luò)分明，層次感較強(qiáng)。In fact, Whats worse, Therefore等過渡性詞匯的準(zhǔn)確貼切使用既增強(qiáng)了語句間的連貫性和邏輯性，又增強(qiáng)了觀點(diǎn)的感染性和說服力。Just, already等情感性副詞的使用使文章情感濃烈，真摯感人。which引導(dǎo)的定語從句、that引導(dǎo)的賓語從句、what引導(dǎo)的賓語從句、who引導(dǎo)的定語從句等高級(jí)表達(dá)方式的運(yùn)用增強(qiáng)了文章的表達(dá)效果，提高了文章的表達(dá)檔次。此外還有不少句子結(jié)構(gòu)對(duì)稱和諧、豐滿勻稱，充滿美感。所有這些成為本文一道道亮麗的風(fēng)景。然而本文也存在不足之處，出現(xiàn)了一些語言表達(dá)方面的錯(cuò)誤，如介詞錯(cuò)誤、主謂語一致錯(cuò)誤、易混動(dòng)詞選擇錯(cuò)誤、非謂語動(dòng)詞錯(cuò)誤、形容詞副詞混用錯(cuò)誤、名詞單復(fù)數(shù)錯(cuò)誤，表明作者語言表達(dá)能力還不夠成熟，有待于今后進(jìn)一步提高。然而從總體上講本文不失為一篇成功之作，值得廣大讀者模仿。

參考答案：

Global Shortage of Fresh Water

Fresh water seems everywhere, in rivers, lakes, wells as well as rain, which makes some people think that we cant use up water.

In fact, global shortage of fresh water is getting more and more serious with the development of industry and the rising population. We are using much more water than what our earth can provide. Just imagine the pictures of the waste lands around the world and the poor children in African deserts who need water badly. Whats worse, much water has already been polluted, making it unfit to drink.

Therefore, we should pay attention to this. To protect our valuable water resources, we should value every drop of water. To save our lives, to save water!