Ｊｏｋｅｓ　ａｎｄ　Ｈｕｍｏｒ

李春銀／編譯

Impolite

My sister， a primary school teacher， was informed by one of her young pupils that a bird had built a nest in the tree outside the classroom.

“What kind of bird？” my sister inquired.

“I didnt see the bird， maam， only the nest，” answered the child.

“Well，” said my sister， “what does the nest look like？”

The child studied her innocently for a moment， and then replied：

“Like your hair， maam， except that it has more sticks.”

無禮

我妹妹是個小學(xué)教師。一次，一個學(xué)生告訴她有只鳥在他們教室外邊的樹上筑了個巢。

“什么樣的鳥？”我妹妹問。

“我沒看見鳥，我只看到了一個巢。”那小孩回答。

我妹妹接著問：“那巢是什么樣子的？”

那小孩天真地望了我妹妹一會兒，然后說：“巢上除了多了幾根小棍棍以外，和你的頭發(fā)幾乎完全一樣。”

What Would You Do？

Son： Mom， if someone broke your best vase， what would you do？

Mum： Id spank him and send him to bed without any supper！

Son： Well， youd better get the slippers. Dad has just broken it！

你會怎么辦？

兒子：媽媽，如果有人打碎了你最好的花瓶，你會怎么辦？

媽媽：我要打他的屁股，還讓他不吃晚飯就去睡覺！

兒子：好了，你準(zhǔn)備好拖鞋吧，爸爸剛把那只花瓶打碎了。

When Do People Talk Least？

Student A： When do people talk least？

Student B： In February.

Student A： Why？

Student B： Because February is the shortest month of a year.

人們什么時候說話最少？

學(xué)生甲：人們什么時候說話最少？

學(xué)生乙：二月。

學(xué)生甲：為什么呢？

學(xué)生乙：因為二月是一年中最短的一個月。

The Plural Form of “Child”

Teacher： Tom， What is the plural of man， Tom？

Tom： Men.

Teacher： Good. And the plural of child？

Tom： Twins.

“孩子”的復(fù)數(shù)形式

老師：湯姆，“男人”這個詞的復(fù)數(shù)形式是什么？

湯姆：男人們。

老師：答得好。那“孩子”的復(fù)數(shù)形式呢？

湯姆：雙胞胎。

WOOL

Teacher： What do we get from sheep？

Boy： Wool.

Teacher： You are quite right. And what do we make from wool？

Boy： I dont know.

Teacher： Well， whats your sweater made of？

Boy：My coat was made from my fathers old sweater.

羊毛

教師：我們從羊身上能得到些什么呢？

男孩：羊毛。

教師：你說得非常對。那么我們又拿羊毛做什么呢？

男孩：我不知道。

教師：嗯，那么你的毛衣是用什么做的？

男孩：我的毛衣是用我爸爸的舊毛衣改的。

Like Father， Like Son

Once a grandfather beat his grandson for playing with fire in the courtyard. The boys father saw this and got worried about him. So the father took a stick and began beating himself. The grandfather was surprised and asked， “Why are you beating yourself？” “You are beating my son and Im beating your son，” the boys father answered.

有其父必有其子

一次，一個小男孩因為玩火被他爺爺打了一頓。小男孩的父親看到后很心疼自己的兒子，于是，他就拿起一根棍子開始打自己。男孩的爺爺見到后很不理解，便問道：“你為什么要打自己呢？”男孩的父親回答道：“因為你打了我兒子，所以我也要打你兒子。”

The Results of a Promise

Father： I promise to buy you a car if you passed your examination， but you have failed. What were you doing last term？

Son： I was learning to drive a car.

許諾的結(jié)果

父親：我答應(yīng)過你，如果你考試及格的話，就給你買一輛汽車，可是你卻沒考及格。……