幽默放送

沒把頭發全剪掉

麥爾斯有時在上班時間去理發館理發，但這是違反辦公室規定的：職員只能利用自己的時間理發。一天，正當麥爾斯理發時，經理碰巧也進來理發，而且就坐在他旁邊。

“你好，麥爾斯，”經理說。“我看到你在上班時間理發了。”

“是的，先生。正是這樣。”麥爾斯平靜地承認了。“可先生，你看，頭發是在上班時間長的。”

“不全都是吧，”經理立刻說，“有一些是在你自己的時間里長的。”

“對呀，先生，你說得很對。”麥爾斯禮貌地回答說，“但我并沒有把頭發全都剪掉啊。”

I'm not Having it All Cut off

Miles sometime went to the barber's during working hours to have his hair cut. But this was against the office rules: clerks had to have their hair cut in their own time. While Miles was at the barber's one day， the manager of the office came in by chance to have his own hair cut and sat just beside him.

“Hello， Miles，” the manager said. “I see that you are having your hair cut in office time.”

“Yes， sir， I am，” admitted Miles calmly. \"You see， sir， it grows in office time.”

“Not all of it，\" said the manager at once. \"Some of it grows in your own time.”

“Yes， sir， that's quite true.? Answered Miles politely， \"but I'm not having it all cut off.”

父親在哪兒？

兄弟倆在看一些漂亮的油畫。

“看，”哥哥說，“這些畫多漂亮呀！”

“是啊，”弟弟說道，“可是在所有這些畫中，只有媽媽和孩子。那爸爸去哪兒了呢？”

哥哥想了會兒，然后解釋道：“很明顯，他當時正在畫這些畫唄。”

Where is the Father?

Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.

“Look，” said the elder brother. \"How nice these paintings are!\"

“Yes，” said the younger， \"but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?”

The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained， “Obviously he was painting the pictures.”

看情況

旅行者：“我還能趕上3點鐘那班到多倫多的火車嗎？”

售票員：“那得看你跑得有多快。火車15分鐘前開出。”

It Depends

Traveler: “Can I catch the three o'clock train to Toronto?”

Ticket agent:“That depends? on how fast you can run. It left fifteen minutes ago.”

他就要死了嗎？

一個男人坐在酒吧里痛哭流淚。一個朋友走進來問他為何如此傷心。那人哭著說：“剛才醫生告訴我，在我的余生里都要吃這些藥片。”

他的朋友很輕松地指出，許多人一輩子每天都要吃藥。“當然，”男人回答說：“但是他只給了我10片。”

Is He Dying?

A man was sitting in a bar with tears streaming down his face. A friend walked in and asked why he was so unhappy. The weeping one said， “The doctor has just told me I'll have to take these tablets for the rest of my life.”

Cheerfully， his friend pointed out that many people have to take tablets every day of their life. “Sure，”came the reply， “but he only gave me ten.”

那是我的褲子

一個婦女在減肥一段時間后自我感覺特別好——特別是當她又能穿上很早以前就穿不上的牛仔褲時。她跑下樓沖她丈夫喊道：“快看，快看。我又能穿上以前的褲子了。”她丈夫看了她好一會兒，然后說：“親愛的，我愛你。但那是我的褲子。”

These are My Jeans

After going on a diet，a woman felt really good about herself----especially when she was able to fit into a pair of jeans she had outgrown long ago.

“Look，look.”she shouted while running downstairs to show her husband.“I can wear my old jeans again.”

Her husband looked at her for a long time，when said，“Honey，I love you，but these are my jeans.”